Stubborn kids are hard to handle and it sometimes creates a very terrible situation for the parents and caregivers. Tantrums, cries, shouts, and screams present a challenge for every parent and they usually struggle to find out the reasons underlying this behaviour. This taxing situation generally takes a toll on your mental well-being, leaving you feeling emotionally drained as you attempt to pacify your child.
The most challenging part is that these kids often lack the ability to convey what is bothering them. Being a parent is a blessing and enjoying the giggles of your LO is bliss, but at the same time, tackling their tantrums and stubbornness can be an uphill battle.
The toddler years, in particular, are patience-testing years as kids approach their second birthday. Defiance and stubbornness in the kids at this age is typically normal.
It is crucial to understand that your response to their behavior could make it as part of their character and personality. Indeed, parenting plays a significant role in shaping a child’s personality.
Table of Contents
Understanding the Nature of Rigidity is Important
Before worrying about your child’s stubborn tantrums, it is crucial to understand the root cause of rigidity. Rigidity is a common phase in every child’s development, often referred to as the “terrible twos.” At times, parents may struggle to differentiate between rigidity and stubbornness. Regardless, handling these behaviors effectively is key.
Rigidity is a natural aspect of toddler behavior. They may be unwilling to compromise or show flexibility, and often respond with a resounding “no”. It is important to recognize this as a normal phase and address it with patience and understanding. On the other hand, stubbornness often involves a child’s refusal to comply with requests. Stubborn children may be resistant to following rules or instructions. While rigidity and stubbornness share some similarities, such as a resistance to change or a strong-willed nature, they can manifest differently in children. Understanding these distinctions can help parents and caregivers tailor their approaches to effectively address and manage each behavior.
Ways of How to tackle a stubborn kid?
Remove Barriers
Kids communicate their needs, and when they are not addressed, they become fussy and obstinate. Insufficient sleep, hunger, or discomfort from diapers can sometimes prompt changes in their behavior. And when these irritating factors continues to exist for a long time, stubbornness becomes a regular part of their behaviour. Inadequate nutrition can also trigger mood fluctuations. The child starts saying no to everything and becomes cranky and irritated. Therefore, addressing these issues promptly can provide immediate relief to your child.
Build a connection
Creating a connection with your child plays an integral role in fostering parent-child relations. They feel secure, loved, and safe. Expressing love and affection significantly impacts your child and is essential at all developmental stages. Therefore it is recommended to:
- Hug them often
- When they are cranky, say, ‘I can understand what u r going through.’
- Say, ‘I love you usually.
- Listen to and empathize with them.
- Be available
- Play together
Encourage Communication
Communication is essential to nurture every relationship and specifically important for babies’ development. Clear and effective communication at each phase fosters trust and comprehension, serving as a safeguard for your children. This approach encourages a comfortable environment where they feel at ease sharing everything, enabling you to monitor their activities closely. Therefore, cultivate open and effective communication to establish trust and understanding. Try to practice the following:
- Encourage them to talk
- Be attentive and listen to them
- Use your body language to communicate
- Show them your facial expressions to express love and anger
- Show your interest in talking to them
- Talk according to their focus span
Use Positive Language
Words have a massive impact on kids. Positive words carry a sense of warmth that can make your children feel secure and at ease. It is crucial to refrain from using abusive or negative language in their presence as this can diminish their self-worth. Additionally, try to minimize the use of the word ‘no.
Consistent harsh and dismissive behavior can promote a culture of abuse and bullying. Therefore, it is essential to be compassionate and mindful in your interactions. By choosing your words carefully, you can encourage attentive listening, ultimately helping to calm their stubborn tendencies.
Distract Rather Than Comfort
If a child is inclined towards something you believe is inappropriate, try to distract them rather than getting into persistent arguments. Avoid being overly rigid in such instances. Instead, gently cultivate their interest in an alternative activity. For example, if your child has been watching television for an extended period, entice them to read by introducing comics or vibrant, engaging books.
Provide Choices
Avoid imposing your choices on stubborn children; instead, strive to offer them options. This approach helps them feel valued and that their decisions hold significance. You can implement this strategy in various ways, such as allowing them to select from the menu at a restaurant or presenting a few movie options for them to choose from, enabling them to pick their favorite. This method provides them with a sense of autonomy and empowerment.
It’s equally crucial not to offer choices when there are none available. Instead, politely communicate, “We are going to have fun at this place.” This approach sets a clear expectation while maintaining a positive and engaging tone.
Healthy Demonstration and Lead by Example
Healthy demonstration means exemplifying the cultivation of healthy habits. Excessive screen time can contribute to rude and obstinate behavior in children, affecting their mood. Engage with them actively by participating in sports, outdoor activities, and playing together instead of mandating these actions. Children often draw inspiration from adults around them. If you aim for your child to adopt healthy habits, lead by example and embrace these habits yourself..
Stop Responding to Tantrums
Children often persist in throwing tantrums and becoming fussy if attention is given to their behavior. Therefore, it is advisable to ignore these outbursts and maintain consistency in your response. Additionally, refrain from constantly saying “no” and allow them some autonomy in their actions. It’s also beneficial to avoid circumstances that trigger tantrums. Tantrums are frequently a means for children to seek attention; however, by disregarding these behaviors, they are likely to diminish over time. It is important to understand the underlying reasons for tantrums.
Believe in Gentle Parenting
Gentle parenting encompasses four key elements: empathy, respect, understanding, and setting boundaries. These pillars are essential in fostering a confident and content child. It is important to honor your child’s choices, empathize with them, show kindness, and establish clear boundaries for their behavior.
Try helping them to learn new things and explore the world. Always try to be their friends. This is the saviour in the long term that it will shape your child’s personality and character over time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, embracing gentle parenting and empathetically meeting your child’s needs can help mitigate stubborn behavior. Remember to set boundaries thoughtfully and recognize that rigidity is a normal phase. By guiding your child with patience and understanding, you can nurture their development and foster a harmonious relationship.
Authored by Afsheen Khan for Fujn
