Emotional Intelligence In Children
The process of navigating emotion is complex and even more difficult for kids. Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in processing child’s emotions, social awareness, health, and well-being. We have seen parents generally concerned about the child’s academic performance, but how attentive they are about their emotional intelligence? In reality, most of us, as parents essentially focus on all other aspects of child’s development except emotional intelligence.
But did you know that, according to a study, people with strong emotional intelligence are more likely to be successful than those with high IQ?
Emotional intelligence is expressing and managing one’s emotions effectively while taking into account the emotions of others. It is the ability to be smart enough about emotions. It’s an acquired skill set that a person can learn at any stage.
If you want to know how to improve your child’s emotional intelligence, then keep reading. This article has the answer to all your questions.
5 Components of Emotional Intelligence
One of the most popular models of EI was developed by psychologist Daniel Goleman. It divides EI into five components. The better you are at each of these factors, the higher is your emotional intelligence.
- Self-awareness. The ability to recognize the emotions you are feeling and be able to put them into words. Further, knowing how your emotions and actions affect others, for better or worse.
- Self-regulation. Self-regulation is controlling your response to emotions according to the situation. It is the art of holding back, advancing, or reversing your emotional response as needed. In other words, it means thinking before reacting and considering the consequences.
- Motivation. Motivation is the process by which someone is stimulated and directed toward achieving their goals. A highly motivated person understands that the rewards of their personal goals are worth the time and effort it takes to get there, even if they face obstacles.
- Empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand how others are feeling. A person with high EI can accurately identify the emotions of others and distinguish between genuine and false emotions. They can then put themselves in other people’s shoes and deal with them accordingly.
- Social skills. A person with high EI can develop healthier relationships than those with low EI. They can interact better with others.
Power of Emotional Intelligence
It’s human nature that we don’t put our efforts into things until we know how important or beneficial they are to us. So here are some benefits of emotional intelligence.
- A 2019 study suggests that increasing EI can improve work-related outcomes, psychological wellbeing, physical health, and social relationships.
- Another study published in 2019 found that EI training improves mood expression, stress management, emotional understanding, and emotion management.
- According to 2019 research, students with high EI are generally happier, more sociable, self-confident, and better at dealing with stress.
- Children with higher emotional intelligence tend to be more attentive and engaged in school.
- High emotional intelligence helps children handle conflict better, develop deeper friendships, and have more favourable social interactions.
- High emotional intelligence helps one to cope better with challenges, stay positive in adversity and become more resilient.
- Children with high emotional intelligence are very good at solving problems.
- Children with high emotional intelligence are more self-aware and know their strengths and weaknesses better.
- They are more Empathic towards others.
Tips to strengthen children’s EQ:
For your children to become well-rounded and successful adults in the future, their emotional well-being needs to be taken care of.
As a parent, you can make some efforts to strengthen your children’s emotional intelligence.
Label Your Child’s Emotions:
Children need to recognize their own emotions. They need to know what feelings they are going through at the time. You can help your child by naming their emotions, at least the feelings you suspect your child is experiencing.
- When your child is upset about losing a game, you can say, “You seem really angry right now. Is that right?”
- If your child can’t do his math and he’s angry about it, tell him, “It looks like you’re frustrated, and you need help.”
This will develop your children’s emotional vocabulary. They will know what anger, worry, sadness, anger, and happiness really are. Awareness of emotions or your inner state is a core part of emotional intelligence.
Show Empathy
When your child is upset, especially if you find his emotional expression dramatic, let them know that their feelings are valid and show empathy. If your child is crying a lot because you told him he couldn’t go to the park until he finishes his homework. Tell him, “I understand that you want to go to the park, and it is important to go to the park. But homework is more important, so finish your homework first, then you can go.”
When your child sees that you understand his feelings, he will be less likely to try to show you how he feels. They’ll feel better when you clearly understand they’re upset, so they don’t have to scream and cry to let you know they’re upset.
Additionally, it will teach them how to put themselves in other people’s shoes and be empathetic to others. Understanding their side of the story will help them better understand the situations of others.
For example, if your child’s play date is cancelled because their friend didn’t show up. He will try to understand his friend’s situation and that he might have some problems. So instead of venting his anger, he will be more compassionate.
Be a role model for expressing emotions:
Children must learn how to express their emotions in a socially acceptable manner. Modelling these skills yourself is the most effective way to teach them.
According to research, emotionally intelligent parents have emotionally intelligent children. So, make it a habit to focus on improving your skills so that you can be a good role model for your child.
Reflect on how your child has reacted in the past:
Take the time to observe how your child reacts to specific situations and talk to your child about it. If your child responds constructively, offer helpful praise.
But if your child reacted inappropriately, take some time to speak with him about how he had a better response option. And a response in some more appropriate ways would have been more beneficial to him. For example;
- If your child was having trouble with math homework and asked you for help. Then praise for his/her reaction.
- If your child reacts inappropriately, such as throwing a math book on the floor. Then talk about what other reactions could have been possible and how beneficial they would have been.
Develop Problem-Solving Skills:
An essential part of building emotional intelligence is learning how to solve problems. After you’ve labelled and focused on the feelings, it’s time for the child to learn to solve the problem on their own. Try to act as a coach instead of being the actual problem solver.
Provide guidance when needed. Please help your child build the ability to solve problems on his own peacefully and effectively. Use difficult situations as learning opportunities. Explore solution options for what your child can do when faced with a challenge.
For example, your child is upset that his sister keeps interrupting him while playing a video game. Help them identify at least five ways to solve the problem. Solutions are not necessarily good. Initially, the goal is just to try to find a solution.
Find ways to help others:
Involve your child in taking care of people so your child will develop empathy for others. Whether volunteering, caring for a sick relative, or caring for a friend, involve your child with you.
Final thoughts
Focusing on your child’s emotional intelligence is essential to growing your child into an adult who is successful in studies, work, social interactions, conflict management, and building healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence or emotional quotient is the essential neglected area that helps build a strong personality of a child. Emotionally supporting your child with resources throughout their development age will develop your child’s overall emotional health and intelligence.
No matter how emotionally intelligent your child appears, there is always room for growth and improvement.